Throwback: Your Children Will Face the World Alone
Three Parenting Lessons
Author’s Note: The following article was first published May 5th, 2025 on Medium.com
The biggest story of the 2025 NFL Draft was Colorado standout quarterback Shedeur Sanders — son of Hall of Famer Deion Sanders — unexpectedly falling to the fifth round. Widely projected as an early first-round pick, Shedeur instead slid in historic fashion before being selected by the Cleveland Browns.
As I watched this unfold, three key lessons stood out to me — not as a sports fan, but as a parent of two teenagers and one pre-teen.
Let me be clear: this isn’t a critique of Coach Prime’s parenting. We’re all figuring it out as we go. Regardless of draft position, Deion Sanders raised a son who made it to the NFL — that alone is an extraordinary accomplishment.
1. Let Your Children Fight Their Own Battles
I was raised to work hard and never quit. My dad modeled that mindset throughout my childhood. He regularly worked 60+ hours a week, often juggling side jobs in addition to his primary one. During the summer, he’d pick up extra shifts at a local amusement park, and my mom pitched in by helping with office work. Over the years, my parents built strong relationships with the park’s owners and managers.
After my first year of college, I returned home for summer break. I had already lined up a job at a fast food restaurant, and to help out at the park, I picked up a second job in concessions. Thanks to my parents’ connections, getting hired was easy.
A few weeks in, I ran into a scheduling conflict. The park had me scheduled for one of their busiest weekends, but the fast food job — my main priority — also needed me. I let the park manager (a longtime friend of my dad’s) know I wouldn’t be able to work that weekend.
He lost it.
I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I do remember thinking, If you and my dad weren’t friends, I’d have a few words for you. I let him finish his tirade, then immediately went to find my dad, expecting him to step in and smooth things over.
But I’ll never forget his response:
“That’s between you and him. You’re an adult. You can handle it however you want. If you decide to quit, I’ll understand.”
With just a few words, he taught me three powerful lessons:
He wasn’t going to fight my battles for me — even if it involved his friends.
He wouldn’t judge my decision, whatever it was.
He was handing me both the freedom and the responsibility to handle the situation on my own.
I walked away with a new kind of confidence. Not the kind that comes from having your dad behind you, ready to jump in — but real self-confidence.
I knew I was done with that job. And more importantly, I felt empowered to say so. I found that manager, expressed my frustration with how he had treated me, and quit on the spot.
2. Let Your Children Learn From New Sources
One thing that stands out about Deion and Shedeur Sanders’ relationship is how closely intertwined it’s been — Deion coached Shedeur in high school and then again in college. That might seem unusual at first glance, but considering Deion Sanders is an NFL Hall of Famer, it makes sense. If your dad’s one of the greatest to ever play the game, why wouldn’t he coach you?
Still, it raises an important parenting question we all eventually face:
How long — and to what degree — should we stay involved in our children’s lives?
As our kids grow into adolescence, we start navigating this very tension. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Every child develops differently, so no chart or checklist can tell us when it’s time to step back. But most of us agree on the general spectrum: a 30-year-old shouldn’t be living off their parents’ Social Security checks, and a 13-year-old probably shouldn’t be paying the bills.
Deion coaching his kids in high school seems natural. But being the head coach during college? That feels like a step over the line — one where “Dad” might need to step back and allow space for others to speak into his child’s life. Especially as a young adult begins preparing for the real world, they need the opportunity to learn from new sources.
To grow beyond us, our children must take what we’ve taught them and test it. They need to challenge, validate, or even reject some of what they’ve been raised with — not out of rebellion, but as part of becoming their own person. Only then can they grow into someone who’s not just a reflection of us, but someone who might surpass us.
And that’s the hard part, isn’t it? We’ve lived through things. We’ve learned what works — at least in the context of our lives. But our kids are living in a different world. What was true for us may not be true for them. Our job isn’t just to teach — it’s also to leave room for them to prove us wrong.
Parents, we have to give the next generation permission to be better than us.
I remember the first time my son was right — and I was wrong. He must have been around 12 or 13. He’s always had a mechanical mind and a love for technology. He grew up watching me tinker with cars and computers, so none of this came as a surprise.
At the time, I was experimenting with a side-by-side Linux installation on an external USB drive. Once I was done with it, I uninstalled Linux and set the drive aside. That drive also had some old photos, so I’d occasionally plug it in to look through them.
One evening after browsing photos, I shut down my laptop. The next morning — nothing. The laptop wouldn’t boot. I tried everything: unplugging, removing the battery, accessing BIOS. No luck.
Frustrated, I was ready to give up when my son quietly said, “I think it’s that hard drive.”
I scoffed. What does a kid know about this? I patiently explained to him why that couldn’t be the issue… but to prove my point, I unplugged the external drive.
And just like that, the laptop booted up.
That was my first real slice of humble pie. Over the years, I’ve learned to defer to him more and more. He’s surpassed me in knowledge on things like smartphones and bicycles — topics I have no desire to master. And that’s the point: he’s becoming his own expert, not just an extension of me.
3. Be Your Child’s Shadow, Not Their Shining Star
When our kids are little, we are everything to them. They look up to us. They believe we’re the smartest, strongest, most capable people on earth. For a time, we are their shining star.
But as they grow into teenagers, that begins to shift — and it should. They start to discover new heroes. Coaches, teachers, musicians, authors — people who challenge their thinking and expand their vision of who they want to be. Eventually, all of these influences converge to shape a future that may look very different from what we imagined — or even hoped — for them.
That’s a good thing.
As our children move toward adulthood, I think it’s healthy — necessary, even — for us to stop being their star… and start becoming their shadow.
Because the alternative? That’s far worse. That’s when a child spends their life stuck in our shadow, chasing a version of success we dreamed up for them, instead of forging their own path. That’s when our expectations become so deeply rooted in their minds that they feel obligated to live them out — long after we’re gone.
I don’t want that.
I want my kids to shine brighter than I ever did. I want them to blaze trails in directions I never considered. And if that means I fade quietly into the background — into the shadow of the person they’re becoming — That’s Uncredible.
Music for voice over by Jeremusic70 on Pixabay.