Throwback: Solving Conflict
More Than One Way To Catch a Bird
The following article was first published on Medium.com on May 23, 2025
The other day, I got an urgent text from my 11-year-old daughter:
“Daddy, there’s a bird in the basement!”
Now, my daughter tends to overdramatize situations, so I wasn’t immediately concerned. When I got home, I asked if we had let our cat Henry—the relentless hunter—down to catch it.
She gasped.
“Mommy said not to!”
Henry is the one pet who regularly deposits birds, moles, and mice on our back patio during the summer months. Finally—a practical use for his skills. But apparently, this was a “no-cat” mission.
Expecting a small robin or something similar, I headed down into the basement to assess the situation.
Instead, I found a medium-sized black bird fluttering around like it owned the place. I tried to shoo it away, but it immediately took off in a panic. I realized quickly this wasn’t going to be easy.
I made one last plea to my wife to let Henry do his thing, but even I knew the chaos that would follow probably wasn’t worth it.
At that point, three different approaches to the bird conundrum emerged—my wife’s, mine, and one that revealed itself on its own.
Catch and Release
I bolted upstairs with my own plan, unsure if my wife would approve.
“How were you planning to handle that bird?” I called out.
“I’ll go down and try to capture it,” she said.
“Well, you better get to it before I do. I’ve got another idea.”
She called our son to assist. Gloves, hats, thick blankets—they geared up like it was a wildlife expedition. The plan was simple: corner the bird, toss a blanket over it, and release it outside.
A humane and sensible strategy.
Kill
While they prepped for capture, I had a different solution in mind.
I climbed to the second floor, opened the closet, and pulled out something I hadn’t used in years: my pellet gun. From my sock drawer, I grabbed the pointed pellets, chambered one, dusted off the scope, and marched downstairs.
My youngest daughter saw me and lit up.
“I knew it! I knew you were getting a gun!” she said, laughing hysterically.
My older daughter, on the other hand, looked stunned.
I talk a big game around my kids.
“I could pick that squirrel off the power line in one shot!”
All talk—until now.
Fueled by the moment, I headed into the basement. My son had just ducked as the bird dive-bombed him. My wife was chasing behind with the blanket. The bird perched at the back of the room.
I raised the pellet gun, placed the bird in the crosshairs, and—
POP!
I missed.
Back upstairs I went for another pellet—this time grabbing the whole box.
Chase Away and Out
While I reloaded, my wife kept working with the blanket, carefully herding the bird away from our living space.
Suddenly, the bird flew straight at me. I stepped back, expecting it to land nearby.
But it didn’t.
Instead, it flew straight out the open door.
Victory.
My wife and son cheered. Me? Slightly disappointed. I was still hoping to shoot something.
But the solution had revealed itself.
The bird didn’t want to be in the basement.
We didn’t want it there either.
We just needed to help it get to where it already wanted to go.
Mutually beneficial solutions work because both sides are aligned toward the same outcome. When goals overlap, cooperation becomes natural. In moments of conflict or chaos, it’s worth stepping back and asking:
What do both parties actually want?
Is there a path where everyone wins?
Maybe I’m overthinking this, and maybe this lesson really is for the birds.
But the next time you face a problem, consider that the best solution may be the one that benefits everyone involved.
Stopping to look for the most mutually beneficial outcome is an approach to solving conflict that is… Uncredible.
Music for voice over by Jeremusic70 on Pixabay.